Go Lambs!

My husband and I secured a babysitter for the kids last night so we could attend our three year old's preschool parent orientation night. Now I can't figure out whether I am uber practical or a cold-hearted mom or maybe just normal but for the life of me I really can't stand those things. Generally speaking, anything that has the words "orientation" and "school" in it is most assuredly a colossal waste of time. Think first day of class in college. The only reason anyone goes that day is to check out the teacher, check out your classmates and to obtain the holy grail of that particular hour, the syllabus. The syllabus tells you what you're in for. You could go into it all blindly but better to be prepared. I often was able to accurately assess the boredom quotient of the class based on the professor's actions on the first day. If they handed you a syllabus and then proceeded to read aloud through said syllabus boredom quotient was high. Zero points for creativity and minus 5 points for not realizing college students mostly know how to read all on their own. If you are going to read something aloud at least make it some cool, fun picture book that we all remember from our youth.

Bringing my digression back to last night I think similar guidelines apply. If you hand me a packet of papers please trust that I can read and will read them or will at least keep them for future reference. If you ask me to be at your school for 1.5 hours and then read me stuff that I can read and almost extinguish my life with a powerpoint that you also read aloud but at a much slower rate than I do at least serve alcohol or ice cream. I know you care about kids and it's important that the school is accredited and the staff is well trained. I do want to meet you, the teachers, fellow parents and receive my "syllabus" along with other pertinent information or tips that may not be contained in it. According to my calculations, factoring in a $10 per hour sitter, all of this should take no more than 30 minutes. Accreditation is awesome but a concise orientation would blow me away.

But we've never been that lucky with these things and last night met my every expectation. Exceeded, really, since it is also worth noting that this is a christian preschool located conveniently across the street from our home(that part for anyone wondering why I chose this school). The evening started with a word from our pastor. Pastor Jim. Oh, what a character. So warm and inviting and god fearing. He let us know that each new student would get a kids illustrated bible. Joy. I wonder how that Sodom and Gomorrah bit is covered. Good bedtime reading. But I jest. I know it's a nice, dancey, happy version of the bible. That's the same version of life I am currently feeding my son. We have to start slow on the spirit and creativity squelching.

While I'm on the subject of Pastor Jim he did stir up one big question in me last night. Why do people close their eyes when then pray? He said it was time for the (inevitable) prayer and he closed his eyes. I saw several others in the audience quickly do the same. I thought maybe they were embarrassed. Or maybe there is some imagination that takes place behind those closed eyes. Or probably their parents did and their parents before them and so on. But where did it start? I have to research that one.

But we made it through the evening deftly avoiding the last half hour by claiming our sitter had to be home. I am proud of myself for not running out the door when I heard "greetings from our lord the savior christ..." They were not able to detect my unbelieving status and our kid is officially on the lamb team. god help me.