New Year's Resolutions

1. This year I resolve to keep on looking for whatever I am looking for in the house, the car, my life, or within because I have learned that whatever you are looking for and honestly believe is lost forever that thing is in a place where you've already looked. Have Patience. Double back and look again. If you don't believe me watch Cold Case Files. There is no example of those crimes finally being solved that doesn't involve someone on the original suspect list. "Yeah, we interviewed that guy back in 97 but he had an airtight alibi. He was with his mom watching TV that night..."

Just today I could not find my child's shoe. Only one. But I thought I had looked everywhere. And I had. I looked in all the same places again and found it. It happens almost daily.

2. I will not continue to push racial profiling as the best airport security measure. Instead I will arrive at the airport naked in an attempt to start a new safety trend.

3. Universal patience. I've mentioned this before but I still have not come close to implementing it very well. I vow to require any thought that enters my head and wants out, regardless of subject matter to undergo at least a twenty minute waiting period.

4. I will not send or respond to any emails that should be in the form of face to face conversations with the exception of my ex-husband with whom email is the only way for us to communicate without yelling.

5. I will learn to speak German, play a song on the guitar, and run a faster half marathon. I may even play my guitar while running and singing a song in German.

6. I will be nice. Mostly.

Dear Nobody Cares

So we received our first, and hopefully, only Christmas update letter in the mail today. I am left completely confused. I do know the people that wrote it though not so well to have deserved the inside information that their letter provided. Honestly, even if we were close friends it is doubtful I would care about much of what was written in that thing. But then that sort of begs the question "If you are family or close friends with someone wouldn't they already know most of these things you drab on about? And if you aren't close friends why would that person be interested?" Which presents my incessantly chattering mind with another question -- "Just what is the intended demographic here?"

It left me with an oddly mixed up feeling. I can't quite shake the ridiculousness of the correspondence yet they don't seem to fit the stereotypical bill of senders of this type of thing. If it had come from my Great Aunt Norma then I'd get it. That's just normal conversation for her. The kinda stuff a person learns early on that there's no need to listen to because there's no meat or real sense in the message. It's just talking to be talking. So you sit with your old aunt, pour another shot of whiskey, throw in a few well placed "uh-huhs" and you're good to go.

But I don't know what to do with this. It is so cliche that it's even cliche to make fun of it. That's how bad Christmas letters are. The kind of humor you can listen to Jay Leno go on about every year. But I really can't help myself. And I'm not so much making fun of it as I am trying to make sense of it all. I feel obligated to let these folks know how...stupid?...unnecessary?...bothersome? SEE? I can't even come up with a word to describe it. But I have to let them know.

They seem to have a decent sense of humor so maybe this is all a joke or some sort of sociological experiment to see who their REAL friends are. This Christmas season I will be one of those true friends and I will tell them what I think. Maybe in a letter.

Paring Down the Gifts

I read the front page of the Dispatch today. The article about "Simple and slow..." in regards to Christmas. People reverting to not so many gifts or shopping or hub bub. I did not miss the implication there is something laudable in all this and maybe we all should strive for it.

I call BULLSHIT.

One person claimed she was spoiled (I assume with gifts at Christmas) growing up and it took her until her 20s to get it. Get what exactly? That kids are shallow and easily amused and love toys, lots and lots of toys no matter the size, shape or price range? The only thing they may like more than toys is the shiny, glitzy wrapping paper or maybe the box it came in. You know the joke, the kids play with the box it came in more than the toy or they like unwrapping them more than the present. Well, guess what? You can't have the box or the wrapping if you don't have a wrapped up box to unwrap.

Or did she get that it is actually a TON of work and expense all orchestrated by adults while the imaginary fat man in the red suit gets all the credit? Yeah, I could see wanting to back off of that responsibility once you see it heading your way. This seems another version of the ultimate parental copout. I got all the gifts, unwrapped them in a lord-of-the-flies-frenzy, had christmas morning high, loved it, got excited with it, was spoiled but now that I am 20 or 30 or 40 or whatever, yeah, I don't really think I, er..I mean you, need all that stuff.

And kudos to you, couple in the university district with a short tree and ornaments homemade by your one child. Can we get more stereotypical? Is there an Atlantic Monthly sitting on your coffee table? Do you still breastfeed your 3 year old in public just to make a point? Instead of a gift exchange they had a "gathering" for an apple saucing party. Kids picked the apples, the adults all collaborated harmoniously to make the sauce and whatev that they later gave as gifts. They claim the experience was such a "great thing to do..it was like value-added gifting..got so much more out of it than if they would have gone to the store and bought something..."blah, blah, blah. Give me a megamall that inserts bamboo shoots under my nails as I shop any day over that mind numbing, god we are soooooooo superior, BORING crap. Please tell me you at least drank wine while you worked. No? Apple juice and organic chex mix? Yum.

And the tree was compared to Charlie Brown's tree. Kids are not stupid. They can clearly see that Chuck is not happy about his tree. He eventually settles but I'm not sure there's a global message there since that character was painted as the doormat of the group who regularly is shown staring and shouting into an empty mailbox or running to kick a ball that we all know won't be there. And how about the Grinch Who Stole Christmas? He stole everything but they still sang. Ok. So they dealt with adversity. They came together as a group and solemnly sang. But there was a frickin party once the Grinch returned all the stuff. And we will never really know if the Who's decided to press charges after the feel good celebration.

I get being materialistic can be a problem. But have you checked the economy lately? This nation is built on a solid foundation of overconsumerism. We NEED your apple picking, homemade bread dough ornament dollars at Old Navy. So I say hit the malls. Right now. It won't hurt to pick up several items for the Toys4Tots drive as well and/or to find a food pantry to which you can also give some money. The economy needs your excess and materialistic instinct.

Trees

I ran across an interesting metaphor for life today. I am sure it's been done, been said and been around for a long time but I haven't heard it stated in quite this way before. The author said to imagine life as a tree. The entire thing is too long to repeat but a couple of thoughts are sticking in my head. First, the actual experience of growth can never be consciously experienced. It can only be noted in comparison to a particular thing in the past with that thing now. The experience itself sneaks by you. Point being, don't stress too much about what might be construed as lack of results in certain endeavors.

The other interesting exercise was to imagine yourself as a tree in the spring when a cool breeze and mild temperature are a pleasant surprise following a hot and dry summer. Then imagine the autumn. Then suddenly one night comes the winter. It is harsh and cold and shocking. But a tree can't bundle up and has little choice of circumstance. So it pulls within itself and builds its own strength. Over time it has resistance and layers and acceptance of the winter. Over time it enjoys all seasons with the knowledge that neither winter nor spring lasts forever. Over time it learns to savor each day.

So I'm staring at and being symbolically inspired by my christmas tree (though it's artificial -- there was nothing in the metaphor about imagining being a beautiful tree cut out of the ground then adorned with lights, bulbs and pics of snotty nosed children). Maybe too corny but today I wish the winter in my life well as I look forward to the spring that is to come.