Easy in, easy out

I recently read an editorial written by Leah Ward Sears Let's End Disposable Marriage.
I call "bullshit." She claims that marriages are too easy to get out of and partially perhaps due to the "no fault divorce" ruling. I call "double bullshit" on that assessment. Before I rant on and on regarding my perspective on this it is probably necessary to state that I do not believe there is one right or wrong answer to all of this and of course, if there was it would be mine. We all are heavily influenced by our own personal and relatively small life experiences. With that being said, time to rip apart her point -- a point I hear expressed over and over.

POINT: Marriage is easy to get out of. I can barely type those words without falling off of my chair. As one of those pesky divorced people threatening the American family who conveniently disposed of my marriage I present to you:

Exhibit A: a 3inch stack of papers -- separation, divorce, child support, and other minutia right down to who gets the gd ottoman. I was really holding out for that one but in the end let it go to my ex along with his other requests including but not limited to the clothes dryer, the printer, and end tables. Talk about breaking things up.

Exhibit B: proceedings begin one year and end two years and three moves later.

Exhibit C: In the process realized I stood to lose one father and the support and/or respect of many people who formerly kinda dug me. Turns out most of them were, in fact, lost.

After you have examined the first three exhibits I would like you to take a look at:

Exhibit D: My marriage license (and a timeline.) The license, one single piece of paper took 20 minutes (this includes drive time) and $40 to obtain. Virtually no questions asked. The catholic church deserves honorable mention with their pre-cana requirements the highlight of which was a two page, scan tron test on compatibility. That added a bit of time and some hoops for us to jump through though in the end we received our score of "incompatible", handed the priest his gratuity, received his blessing and scheduled the date.

Exhibit E: An unending line of folks WANTING to get married and following through on that desire. Divorce has no bearing on the number of folks wanting to get married and form families. In fact, the same folks squawking on about the demise of marriage and family are preventing loving, committed gay people from marrying...

My point being, marriage is ridiculously EASY to get INTO if you are heterosexual. Though some may say it's easy to get out of I would contend the problme is more the entrance into marriage which I find akin to the gravitational pull of a black hole. If one takes a step back and looks at the entire thing it seems ludicrous to think the exit would not be more difficult.

My suggestion: THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE. STOP celebrating the white dress, the knight in shining armor and think the fuck about what you really really want for yourself. That's step one. I don't honestly believe relationships truly can be legislated much as some want to try. If you insist on the need to change law or legislate or make anything harder to attain in the name of the American family how bout try making it difficult to get married. That way at least folks might have to wait at least as long as they do to buy a gun.