Go West

I have long smirked at the notion of people, "Going West." I mean, c'mon, how cliche can we get? And yet I now find myself once again in a position of humility where I feel the need to confess...I am going West. The first chance I get, the next chance I get. GTC had it in our 12 year plan to do it anyway but now it must move its way into my 5 year plan. I would prefer it move its way into my 5 day plan. So if you don't hear from me in a reasonable amount of time (unit of measure for relatives- 6 months; friends- 7 months) check the Tahoe-Donner directory. I second the notion a good friend recently shared with me, "If people weren't born in Ohio the midwest would remain largely uninhabited..."

Ongoing obsession with Facebook

Ahole is blogging about facebook. Ahole is also eating a piece of toast. Wheat toast. Kroger brand. I am holding it in my left hand. I am left handed. I know because that's how I sign my name. And also I took an internet quiz that says I might be left handed. Ahole is wondering what a random 400 people are doing at THIS EXACT MOMENT. Please tell Ahole. Please tell me where you are going today. Please tell me what you had to drink today. Please tell me what you think of the weather. Please tell me what you did yesterday and post some pictures of it, too, while you are at it. What is a story about drinking latte without a photo? How can I visualize you going to work without a visual? How in the world can I really get to KNOW you people called my friends? Ahole is impatiently waiting for the next status update. C'mon, people! Where are you EXACTLY? What are you doing RIGHT NOW??? Ahole doesn't want to take another quiz about herself. Oh but she will. Just to have something to post if someone else doesn't post first. Isn't anyone eating, drinking, reading, shitting, travelling, pondering, talking, thinking, looking??? Tell me NOW. NOW. NOW.

So tired...

I am so tired of bullshit. Irony in that is all I spew is bullshit. That's all I got. Bunch of stupid ass bullshit theories and ideas on life that I got mostly from observing my dysfunctional family and reading lots of self-help books with a sprinkling of overpriced and way overvalued professional help. I have come to the conclusion that I was either:

a. Abandoned by a pack of wolves shortly after my birth and found by my parents. They noticed I was female which their current family was short on and thought with a lot of work they might be able to make me human(my dad always claimed I was an ugly baby and I can get very hairy without the proper hygiene). Alas, as they now realize after my 40th birthday it was all for naught. You really cannot take the beast out regardless of the best intentions and copious amounts of catholic conditioning.

b. Mixed up with another family's baby. I have no basis for this one except maybe it was a slow day at the farm and between me and the other newborn she was way uglier.

c. Alan Funt decided to experiment with something a little bit meatier than a talking mailbox and any minute now he will be jumping out, screaming, "SMILE! You are on candid camera!" In the likely case that he is now dead I can only hope he has passed on my file to Ashton Kutcher and I will soon learn instead that I've been punked. Last resort is Howie Mandell. It's sort of his m.o. and I am running out of options.

d. Some combination of the above.

Can barely take it anymore...

Shocking news that is neither of those really

In the world of reality TV, where I spend a great deal of free time, this week's shocking news is the bachelor. He changed his mind. Oh dear god. The public outcry was deafening (in the reality circle). What gets me with this and with all reality TV is that people believe it is real. So people are shocked that a guy goes on a TV show to find a wife out of a panel of women who are going on the show to compete for one guy and then the guy picks a girl and then he changes his mind. And the shocking part is that last bit?

Though I do watch reality TV I must admit I never watched this particular show because it is ridiculous. I rate these shows on a sliding scale and in the big picture ridiculous isn't a terrible rating but for me this one just isn't watchable. Until now. Bring in some good shock drama and I'm in. I can't wait for next season. As if regular schmoes and schmoettes aren't disallusioned enough when choosing a spouse from the entire population (not me, honey...)Until next season and for now I will continue to get my fix on American Idol and Sober House.

Where's Waldo?

So I reluctantly joined facebook and I am beginning to think "wow, this is kind of neat" but wait...Then after I hear from some people from my past that it doesn't pain me to hear from and start to see the value of this whole "connecting" thing, Facebook slowly starts to resemble my real life. I pop into each of my family members' and even some friends' pages and there is my ex husband. Will he never go away? Not unlike the series of childrens' books, WHERE'S WALDO? I suppose I should just make a game out of how many photos I can find him in...