No lines!No waiting!
I don't know where to begin with this one. So the Catholic Church is bringing back some traditional practices one of which is granting "indulgences." Now before you go and start thinking chocolate desserts and candy like I did just stop right there. It's so much better than that (for entertainment value anyway.) My first question upon reading this article in The Dispatch this morning was, "Why the f would this be on the front page? It isn't news. It's less than news." My second thought after reading the article again in its entirety was, "This has to be a joke. Do people really take this seriously?" So being a recovering Catholic I read the article one more time.
Here's my breakdown:
*Indulgences are sort of like credits on earth. If you do some prayer in a predetermined setting like a retreat (one which I'm betting the church charges for) then you may be granted an indulgence.
*An indulgence apparently takes time off the person's visit to purgatory. Purgatory was described in the article as, "not a place of suffering but a place where you receive a good scrub down to remove the muck before being with god."
*If you get your scrub down here you can avoid the long lines and waiting once you croak and hit purgatory.
*As stated by Tom Berg, "It is NOT a get out of jail free card."But wait, Tom. I thought it wasn't a place of suffering.
*Exactly who does the granting or how it is granted remains unclear to me. The article stated no one keeps track because "It's between the Catholic and God." The only record keeping will be done by the church treasurers who receive your money.
I can barely articulate my thoughts on the absurdity of this. It is so frustrating to think that once the premise of heaven/purgatory/hell is actually accepted that people then actually believe you can "buy" your way into "heaven" on the fast track. IF it is truly between the Catholic and god then no one needs an indulgence. No one needs confession, judgment on earth and no one needs the church. Aha! Now we are getting somewhere. My best and most hopeful guess is that someone in the church double majored both in theology and marketing. During these hard times the church is also affected. Guilt does not seem to be working as well presently. We're gonna need some "value added" tactics to really grab these customers back.
Well, good luck with that. Anyone not able to attend this weekend's retreat see Fr. McFleecalot. For the right price I am certain we can zip you right by the scrub down and into the glory of god.
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