No Touch Sensor

I went out last night with a couple of my cronies. That's code for "old women friends." We talked about the usual -- kids, husbands, ex-husbands, jobs, physical ailments, extended family members and the internet. In that order. One high point of the evening came at the very beginning when the young waiter with a behind the ear tattoo of an ax or a broom or something or other, asked for our id's. I would have been flattered if I didn't think he was required to card everyone who ordered alcohol. I mentioned that to him and he replied, "I only have to card the beautiful ones." Bam. Corny yet effective. Large tip secured. (that's what she said)

The other honorable mention item of the night was when I went to the ladies room. I spent a while there drying my hands with the "No-Touch Sensor." The problem I was having was the button that activated the the hand dryer was a big red rectangle that was labeled NO TOUCH SENSOR. DO NOT TOUCH. As I read that my finger was drawn to the bright button like a paper clip to a super magnet. I had no choice really. The first time I touched it tentatively and looked around for hidden cameras. The second and third times I pressed the button multiple times with reckless abandon. It felt so wrong yet so right.

Main lesson of the evening: I really need to get out more often.