I have to do this. It's an urge, an instinct, a knee jerk reaction and something I know all too well should be kept under wraps in the name of my new mantra of "universal patience." But I just can't help it. I have a confession to make. Today for the third time I have activated an account on Facebook. The first time I did it because I realized I couldn't see other people's stuff unless I joined. After I poked around a little and realized how creepily voyeuristic I was being I deactivated my account. I was satisfied that I was not missing anything.
The second time I reactivated (they make it so damn easy) and decided, "Well, if everyone is doing it then it must be fun or useful. And, gosh, look how many friends you can have in list form with pictures at a moment's notice on those not so happy days. Yes, I surely must join." I did it again. For about five minutes this time. I couldn't shake that creepy feeling. I kept looking over my shoulder to see which one of my "friends" might be watching me. Deactivated again. This time I laughed at myself for what I consider my own foolishness because I know better than to think this would appeal to me.
Today, my third and I highly doubt last time I reactivated my account I was clear on my motives. I wanted to spy on people, see what pics they had up, see who some of their "friends" are. I must admit I really got a good chuckle this time. I think Facebook allows an entirely new age of connecting in a disconnected way and even offers a new definition on the term "disconnected." As I peeped in on all of you (yes, I know anyone who might be reading this has an account, suckers -- no privacy allowed here!) I noticed some of the people who actually are my friends' pictures of their "friends" and kept saying things out loud like "Hah! He isn't your friend. You just told me you HATE him!" and "That's a coworker, numbrain, not a friend" and "I doubt you've even met that person."
I realize my criticism sounds like I think I am better than all that. And I don't think I am better than anybody. My friends, these are people who I have spoken to on a somewhat regular basis over the years, have met my kids, know my birthdate, have a vague idea of my favorite colors, movies or jokes and probably have my phone number and know where I live, know that I think myself much much worse than anyone I ever encounter. So we can scrap that. The thing is Facebook seems really really CREEPY to me.
With all the True Crime stories I watch and read there are many many cyber stalker types out there. So here's a scenario: someone introduces themselves at the grocery store, wait that's not gonna happen -- a crazy cashier thinks you're cute and realizes you resemble his last (dead) girlfriend, you pay by credit card, he has your name. He activates his deactivated account and looks you up. There are a lot of Mary Smith's so this is like finding a needle in a haystack. But wait, no it's not, there's your picture right there. Yep that's her, he says. I wonder where she lives or works. Let's see who some of her friends are. Oh, okay, looks like she works at Nationnarrow Insurance Co. He drives over to NN and follows you home. He takes his time, gets to know all your interests and even friends and finally your routine. He approaches you knowing everything and you think "I will go on one date with him." He kills you on the first date with a gun from long range. No DNA, no trail, no nothing. You are dead and he goes to work the day shift at Krogers the next day.
So seriously, how could I in good conscience and with this kind of safety awareness join Facebook? I actually may keep activating and deactivating to see if they send me any warnings on that. I will keep you posted through this blog that keeps me in touch with people I know - no pics, no real names even though I know who you are and you knwo who I am. No one has any interest in randomly searching blogs and even if they knew anything about me they'd have to know me or someone I know to really find me. See where I'm going with this?? Be safe. Oh and if you really want to keep in touch with "friends" there's this really cool thing called "going out to dinner" or if you want to get really retro "hanging out" -- I miss those days.
4 comments:
so many thoughts:
a) you quit and join Facebook repeatedly, scanning people's photos and friend lists. And somehow it's facebook that's creepy?
b) sure, he could kill her, but what if they fell madly in love?!?!?!
c) "hang out"? Um, sitting in your basement playing Mario Kart is not really hanging out.
just join. sucker.
a)Here's the thing -- I would rate myself fairly low on the scale of psychotic and/or violent tendencies and I joined and unjoined admittedly just to peep. That IS extremely nosy but a far cry from creepy. But think of all the truly CREEPY peepers out there who may also be voyeuring all of your pics and life. At best it's like a "Museum of Me" or a party guest list that would never happen. It's just a weird sort of exhibitionist type method of keeping tabs not keeping in touch. If I want someone to have my kids' photos I will send it in the mail or even (god forbid) hand it to them in person. I think of Facebook as an electronic yearbook of sorts. I must not have a lot of BFFs and maybe I want to hide that-- but TTFN and all that. Peace out (and any other hip, cool, rockin' tag I might have missed...)
b)She might be luckier to be killed.
c)Maybe we could sit in my basement and Facebook each other or other people we know and don't really know that well. and how soon you forget my mediocre cooking.
That's weak to remove a comment unless you were trying to be funny and mock my joining and unjoining of Facebook. Then it's damn funny and ironic cuz here it's anonymous and you get no credit. If it were on Facebook all of my friends and your friends and there friends' friends would see how funny you are.
Scaredy-cat
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